Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Reading French in bed

I've had some pretty crap ME days this last few weeks, I don't really mention them cos it's all so very dull. But recently I was in bed reading Le Scaphandre et Le Papillon with my French dictionary - a huge brick of a book - and I felt like I was Helen Fleet. It was chilling to rewind to to the eighties, in bed trying to keep my French up. Then I felt huge relief that it is now and not then and that I have achieved what I have - my degrees, my voluntary work, my novel - and being a fine auntie to my nephews - in spite of it all. And I thought of those who deal with severe, unremitting ME, year after year after year, and once again I praise them to the skies, wondering how they cope. (I know how they cope, they cope because they have to.) Yesterday, as I was going about my day I felt like a wind-up doll, slowly running down, with not a chance in hell of being wound up again. And more muscle pain than I care to think about. So today is complete rest. And yet I feel lucky.

2 comments:

Laura said...

I am nearly 20 years old and have had ME for four and a half years. I read your book a few months ago and I actually cried with relief. Not that I would wish ME on anyone, but it was the first thing I have ever read that I felt really and truely understood what i was going through. I relate to your book on so many levels and it really helped me. I just wanted to thank you for writing 'The State of Me' it has inspired me so much and is now a well thumbed favourite. When i have a day i just can't do anything, sitting around feeling sorry for myself and so jelous of all other people my age, I open your book and it makes me feel so much better.

I have chosen the hard route and am determined to be at Uni despite having ME. Luckily my housemates are saints and will take my Dictaphone to lectures/go to the library for me and generally look after me if I can't get out of bed. I am also lucky to have such understanding tutors.

Since reading your book I have taken on the attitude that yeah, ME is an absolute bitch to live with, but there's not much I can do about it, so I might as well start appreciating the little things in life that I can do. I also love being able to stick two fingers up at ME when I do manage to achieve something 'normal' even if I spend a long time recovering from it!!

So thank you again for helping me.

Laura

nmj said...

Hey Laura, So glad that you enjoyed the book and are 'well' enough to be at uni. Take good care
and don't overdo it!