Friday, 23 June 2006


I'm taking part in some research into 'ME/CFS and Pain' next week, so I've been thinking more about the pain I experience. I don't think I am ever pain-free, but I don't really think about it anymore unless the pain is bad. I always have pain in my calves when I wake up, like slabs of poison inside my legs. Sometimes, it disperses after a couple of hours, sometimes it doesn't. I still get magnificent headaches that you can't explain to anyone, and I often feel like I have a brick in my neck. I always get burning pain after exertion. I carried a bag of rubble a few metres in the garden yesterday: instant burning in my arms, the lactic acid doing its stuff. When I was very ill, I couldn't sleep for the pain in my head and back and legs and used to pray for it to stop even though I don't believe in God. I would bargain with him that I would never complain about anything again if I could just be pain-free.

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